014. Queen Bee, 1955

What’s The Story? Prim Jennifer Stewart (played by Lucy Marlow) arrives in Georgia to spend time with her cousin’s family. She steps into a whirlwind of drama centered around her evil cousin Eva (played very well by Joan Crawford). Eva is barely speaking to her alcoholic husband Avery (Barry Sullivan), who sports a nasty scar on his face from a car accident. Avery’s sister Carol is involved with Avery’s business associate Jud (John Ireland), but Eva still holds a torch for Jud. And poor Jennifer tries to get her footing in all this drama, all while trying to comfort Eva’s son has he has recurring nightmares of the car accident that disfigured his father.

Carol and Jud announce their engagement, which sets Eva off.

Avery and Jennifer start catching feelings for each other. Eva gaslights Carol into thinking that Avery will split up with her. Carol then kills herself in their stable, which sends Eva into hysterics, realizing she's gone too far. When Eva realizes that Avery may actually leave her for Jennifer, she threatens a nasty public divorce. Avery backs off, and then concocts a plan to kill Eva and himself in a car accident. Jud takes Eva in the car, confronts the Queen Bee and then kills them both. Ta-dah!

Now, it sounds very soapy. It isn’t. It should be more. The big problem is that most of the characters are very passive. Eva takes charge of scenes and all of the characters are cowed by her. If they were putting up more of a fight from the beginning and then built to the end, then it would be more satisfying. As it stands, you do root for Eva to get what’s coming to her but if you want a more satisfying experience, you also should want to root for the other people to win against her. And they are so milquetoast you don’t. So, not as satisfying as it should be.

Side note: the film is set in Georgia and there are barely any Southern accents on display, except for Fay Wray (!) as a local eccentric (and early Eva victim). The costumes are gorgeous and were nominated for an Oscar.

Oh, And How’s Joan? Joan really brings her all to this. It’s a good performance. Not only is she super evil when it’s required, she also shows you the severely fucked up person underneath the Jean Louis gowns. Eva is hyper desperate for love and acceptance that she’ll go out of her way to make other people miserable. The scene where she is talking to Jennifer about her feelings for Jud and she starts trashing the room is genuinely scary. Eva is a disturbed person, not just a Queen Bee monster. Eva is similar to Harriet Craig, if Harriet was a full-tilt narcissist sociopath.

Should You See It? Sure. It’s entertaining and fun to look at. Joan is the highlight. It’s not an essential film of hers, so I’d put it lower on the list.

How Can I See It? You can rent the DVD from Netflix. Streaming-wise, it’s available for rental on Vudu, YouTube, Amazon Prime, and Google Play.

013. This Woman Is Dangerous, 1952

So What’s The Story? Hard-boiled mobster Beth Austin (played by Joan Crawford - yes, you read that right) has been robbing Louisiana casinos with her awful boyfriend Matt (David Brian), his brother Will (Philip Carey) and Will’s girlfriend Ann (played ably by Mari Aldon). Beth’s eyesight is getting progressively worse so she goes to Indianapolis to see renown eye surgeon Ben (Dennis Morgan) so she doesn’t go blind. Matt is the jealous type — very, very jealous — and is not happy with Beth leaving his sight for 5 seconds, so he’s unhappy about this. Beth gets the surgery, and she and Ben fall in love… and Matt isn’t having it. Meanwhile, the FBI is closing in Matt and the gang, and their stupid antics make this worse for them. Beth is concealing her criminal past from Ben, and keeps trying to push him away even though they are falling for each other.

Sounds like a possibly good noir, right? Or a maybe a fun Douglas Sirk melodrama? Well, it’s not. Almost everything in this film falls flat, from the direction to the story to a good deal of the acting. The metaphor of Dr. Ben having Beth see the light — literally and figuratively — is very heavy handed. Matt is written so poorly and as played by David Brian, he’s just one note: GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! And that gets really tiresome really fast. At one point, Matt and clan are driving up to see Joan in Indianapolis in a camper van. Matt and his brother start fighting over something stupid and Matt throws something through a window, crashing glass on the road by a motorcycle cop. Matt then just kills the cop (!) when he arrives. It’s all just dumb. You don’t see how he’s a leader of the pack or why Beth fell in love with him in the first place.

The only scene with some genuine tension is when Ben makes a stop at a women’s prison to do some pro bono work on the prisoners. Joan sits in the car and watches some women file out of a truck.

Trust me when I say that this scene has more tension and suspense to it than the climatic gun fight at the end of the film where Joan literally sits for most of it. Ugh. At least she could have a bit of fun off the set…

“Three more weeks of this, Lucille and you’ll put Warners behind you.”

Oh, And How’s Joan? Joan is on autopilot here. She’s just Harriet Craig without the wit and intelligence. it was the last film of her contract with Warner Brothers and you can tell she just wanted to leave. I know I did.

Should I See It? Unless if you are a total completionist, skip this. It’s one of her forgotten films for a reason.

How Can I See It? It’s available for rental via YouTube, iTunes, Google Play and Vudu.

012. Goodbye, My Fancy, 1951

What’s The Story? Powerful Congresswoman Agatha (our Joan) is lured to her alma mater to receive an award at their commencement ceremony. She confesses to her secretary Woody (Eve Arden, who steals every scene she’s in with sardonic wit and impeccable delivery) that she had an affair with one of her professors, Dr. Merrill (Robert Young, pre-Marcus Welby by about 16 years) back in the day which lead to her expulsion. Nipping at her heels is Life Magazine photographer Matt Cole (Frank Lovejoy), her old flame from their war correspondent days. As Agatha goes down memory lane at her old college, her romance with Merrill is rekindled. She also brings with her a film about the perils of restricting intellectual freedom, which rankles the college’s head trustee.

It’s a good set up for a romantic comedy and the film mostly delivers. Based on Fay Kanin’s play of the same name, the story structure is strong here. Agatha is strong-willed but lonely, good at her job but also wanting love. She’s a woman of conviction in a story that’s all about people compromising their values. The film moves at a nice breezy pace that doesn’t feel too fast.

So why does it feel a bit thin?

Easy. At 1951, Joan was in the middle of her Warner Brothers contract and her star power was just starting to wane. But Joan Crawford at 90% is still way stronger than most actors. The two other vertices of this love triangle — Robert Young and Frank Lovejoy — just don’t have the star power or the mettle to really serve as a strong equal to Joan. So, she easily blows them off the screen in every scene they’re in. And Lovejoy especially is just out of his element. You buy that he’s a cynical guy, but that is the only note he hits. His Matt Cole is too rough with Agatha to really be considered seriously. And while Robert Young is fine in the role, Cary Grant would have really served a better sparring partner for Joan. Also, every time he was on screen, I kept expecting him to sell me some coffee.

Oh, And How’s Joan? One year after Harriet Craig (previous post here), Joan has found a few layers in the Manicured Battle-Axe mode she was in during the 50s. She holds the center of this film quite well. While there are moments where her presentational tics are front and center (see the dazed expression she has when Agatha sees her old dorm room - false notes all around), there are moments where she absolutely shines. There is a lot of talk about freedom and democracy here and Joan sells those moments the best. You can feel that these are the reasons why Agatha got into politics in the first place and her steeliness is how a woman could have survived and thrived in Congress during the 50s. She’s good. Not her best but definitely not her worst.

She apparently did not get along with her co-star, Janice Rule. Ms. Rule, new to film but not to acting, kept missing her marks. Joan wasn’t having that, apparently telling her “Miss Rule, you’d better enjoy making films while you can. I doubt you will be with us long.”

Should I Watch It? Sure. Joan is good, the story is still relevant today and Eve Arden is just genius. It’s not as strong as it should be but it’s still entertaining.

How Can I See It? You can rent it from YouTube here and on iTunes.

004. Harriet Craig, 1950

Joan Crawford - Harriet Craig Wendell Corey - Walter Craig

What’s The Story? Harriet Craig (our Joan) is a woman who runs her home like a ship. Everything in the right place, everyone doing what they’re told. Harriet will maintain control, no matter how many lies she tells her husband Walter (Wendell Corey) to keep him in line or her niece Clare that works as her unpaid secretary. Or even Walter’s boss to prevent him from getting a promotion that would take him to Japan for three months.

Based on George Kelly’s Pulitzer Prize-winning play Craig’s Wife, this movie puts Joan into the anti-hero role. Harriet is conniving, vain, and highly manipulative. You do see flashes of why she’s doing what she does and at the end when her plans unravel, Harriet has a huge monologue detailing why she is the way she in (in a way that only a Pulitzer Prize-winning play from the 1920’s can). The film is very engaging. You really love to hate Harriet even though you get why she is the way she is. When she gets her comeuppance, it’s very well earned.

Oh, And How’s Joan? This is 5 years after Mildred Pierce and a good 12 years before the hagspoiltation apotheosis Whatever Happened To Baby Jane? So, I call this her “Manicured Battle-axe” phase. She has the style and beauty from her earlier years but with the flintiness and coldness of some of her later years. Sure, Bette Davis and other actresses can do this kind of thing too, but Joan does it with cold efficiency and a ton of heart. Helen in Humoresque may on the surface have a lot of things in common with Harriet, but the ticking heart underneath each role is very different. The supporting cast is very game, including Wendell Corey as her husband and KT Stevens as her put-upon niece. Everyone seems like they are in the same film and the same world, which isn’t always the case with Joan’s films.

She also looks amazing. I mean, this is how she looks in a dinner party scene:

Harriet and the only thing she really loved… a Ming Vase full of rice. (No, really)

In her signature red lips and arched eyebrows, Joan added a severe left part in her hair to the look. Which works. It adds a slightly masculine vibe to Harriet, showing she’s the real man of the house. Joan really comes to life in Harriet’s many confrontations with her staff and when she’s having to spin one lie to the next. The script can be very hokey and obvious, but Joan makes it all work.

Should I See It? Absolutely. It’s not one of her best films but she’s great in it. The acting really help to sell a story that was creaky by 1950’s standards (and it practically antediluvian now).

How Can I See It? It’s currently available via Amazon Prime. You can watch it here.